


The End of the War

by LemonBubble



Series: NVTR Fics [8]
Category: Welcome to Night Vale
Genre: Episode Style, M/M, the tiny city under the bowling alley
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-11-07
Updated: 2013-11-07
Packaged: 2017-12-31 18:18:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,638
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1034868
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LemonBubble/pseuds/LemonBubble
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The deep tablets have finally been translated. Also, news on the tiny city under the bowling alley, a look at traffic, and this week's community calendar.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The End of the War

**Author's Note:**

> Night Vale Town Riot Bonus Prompt - The Apocalypse

There is a place, deep inside your heart. You know the one. No, not there. Not there either. Yes, _that_ one. Welcome to Night Vale.

In breaking news today, the City Council has announced that they have finally decoded the deep tablets - you know, the ones that - until this moment - everyone knew about but were not allowed to acknowledge, buried deep beneath town hall. The Council say we are now allowed to know about the tablets because, according to a representative “what’s the point” and “there isn’t much time left”. The Council has been working on translating these tablets for centuries and they have finally cracked the code.

The tablets read: “If you are reading this, you have won a free apocalypse! That’s right, one free apocalypse! It will be delivered in the next twenty minutes. Remain calm and enjoy the rest of your short, meaningless existence.”

Oh.

Well, listeners, seeing as the end of the world is rapidly approaching, I think I’ll skip the news and just go ho-

Ah, never mind. Station management disagrees with that plan, so I will instead be staying here with you for the apocalypse. That’s odd, usually they’ll allow sick days for impending doom.

Still, it’s probably nothing to worry about, right? I mean, how many supposed apocalypses have we made it through together in the past? I can think of four right now, and if we’ve survived four apocalypses, what’s a fifth on top of that? It’ll be something to tell your children about. That is, assuming we do, in fact, survive. Stay tuned for apocalypse updates reported as they happen. We’ll keep you up to date.

-

In other news, Teddy Williams of the Desert Flower Bowling Alley and Arcade Fun Complex reports that there has been a shift in the activity of the tiny city under the pin retrieval area of lane 5. The city is still as loud and warlike as ever, but there have been less miniature citizens emerging to wage war on us surface dwellers. The reason for this, is unknown, but it is entirely possible that they have slipped into a civil war, long standing feuds between different factions of the city finally reaching their breaking point and striking out at each other over the moral issues of attacking surface dwelling giants who have done nothing to them. Or, so I assume, based on what little we know of the city. In fact, we know almost nothing about it, since no one will venture into the city after their deadly assault on Carlos and the Apache Tracker, so this is all just guesswork on my part. All we know for sure is that they are advanced enough to have developed heavy explosives and, possibly, nuclear weapons.

-

And now, traffic.

The roads are filled with stalled cars. No one is driving. Someone decided it was a better idea to stop the car and walk home and everyone seems to have agreed. Either that or the road started filling with people who agreed until it was impractical to even attempt to drive and even those who would rather not walk were forced to cease driving. They have heard that the end is near (again) and are returning home to hide in bunkers or wait it out with family. I think that’s an excellent idea and would very much like to join them, but then if I did that, who would be here to speak to all of you?

-

Let’s take a look at the community calendar.

On Saturday, the Night Vale district school board are holding a fundraiser raffle. They are raising money for new floors for the classrooms, as all the old ones were recently replaced by bottomless pits. Tickets can be purchased by humming loudly.

Sunday is the 20th anniversary of the Green Market co-op. They will be celebrating by returning to the old ways for the day and so there will be no fruits or vegetables available at the market on Sunday.

Monday marks the beginning of hockey season, which I’m sure would be much more important if there were any hockey teams in town. Since there are not, it is just another unremarkable day.

Tuesday is a meaningless void, which no one will remember, but will probably still happen.

Thursday night is Open League Night at the Desert Flower Bowling Alley and Arcade Fun Complex. Anyone is welcome to enter, just bring your team and the appropriate blood sacrifices and come join the fun!

Friday is, once again, going to be less relaxing than you hope it will be as you rush to the finish jobs you put off all week in an attempt to have the time to be able to enjoy your weekend.

This has been the community calendar.

-

An update on the apocalypse situation - it has been ten minutes since I read the tablet aloud, and there is so far, no sign of the promised end of the world. I am not actually sure what timing the tablet is using. It could be timed from when I read it out on air, or from when it was initially translated. Either way, if it is accurate, then we have anywhere from five to ten minutes left to live. I hope all you listeners out there are spending these last minutes with cherished loved ones, or perhaps settling grudges with hated ones. Whatever it is you’re doing, enjoy it while you can.

-

And now a word from our sponsors.

Do you ever feel the need to fall from a high place? To set something on fire? Ever had the urge to tear a tree from the ground with your bare hands, only to find you don’t have the strength? Have you ever asked a question and gotten the answer to a different question? Why is it that these things happen? Is it simply a part of life, or is there something you can do to change this? We don’t know, and we’re not trying to find out. Eat at Pinkberry!

-

This just in, Teddy Williams says that the noises from the miniature city have ceased. There is only silence coming from the pin retrieval area of lane 5 and the tiny menace that lies hidden there. He says it is a tense silence, as if the whole city is waiting. Perhaps their tiny civil war is drawing to a close and they will soon resume their attacks on us. Teddy has called in his militia, just in case, and he says he will keep us up to date on any developments. Also, I have just received a text from Carlos saying he is going down there to make sure they don’t do anything stupid, which is very brave of him seeing as the last time he was at the bowling alley he almost died and he has been terrified of bowling ever since. Which is a little odd because, I mean, it wasn’t bowling that was trying to kill him, right?

Anyway, I hope Carlos doesn’t do anything reckless, like climb down to the city again. You hear me, Carlos? Don’t go doing anything that might get you killed, alright? I know you’re listening, and even if you’re not I trust someone at the bowling alley will relay my warnings to you, so be careful, okay?

And now, as the supposed end of the world draws ever closer let us go, perhaps for the last time, to [the weather](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-LrZ01A6Q_M).

-

An update on the tiny city situation - during the weather, Teddy reported hearing very small explosions from under the pin retrieval area of lane 5. He said that when he went to look, the miniature city was nothing but a smoking pile of rubble and he could see no survivors. Carlos had some kind of clicking device with him that started going off like crazy after the explosions. Apparently I may have been right about the civil war, as all evidence points to tiny nuclear weapons having been launched, destroying the city and so ending its years long war against us here on the surface.

The City Council reports that another tablet has appeared and been translated. It reads: “We hope you enjoy your brand new apocalypse, in the fashionable ‘nuclear wasteland’ style.”

It would seem that the promised apocalyptic prize was simply a miniature model of an apocalypse, and it was delivered to the tiny city under the bowling alley! However, Carlos claims that the explosions have weakened the building and it is, sadly, in danger of collapsing at any moment. On top of that, he says the amount of radiation coming from the new wasteland under lane 5 is dangerously high and that anyone who enters the bowling alley does so at the risk of a slow, painful death from radiation poisoning. This is tragic news for both Teddy Williams and the community, as it seems the Desert Flower Bowling Alley and Arcade Fun Complex will be forced to shut down, at least until repairs can be made and the radiation eases off to safer levels. It is a sad day for Night Vale, losing one of its most popular and well known entertainment zones. Also, this mean that Thursday’s Open League Night has been cancelled.

But, despite these small tragedies, today is a day to celebrate! We have survived yet another apocalypse together, Night Vale. Today we triumphed over menacing and vaguely spam-like ancient prophecies to see another sunrise. The world has not ended, listeners. It would not be accurate to say we are safe, but we are, at least, still alive. And isn’t that incredible? That we, as individuals and as a community, keep going, every day. Always, still alive.

Stay tuned next for seven hours of clocks ticking irregularly and dogs barking.

Good night, Night Vale, good night.

**Author's Note:**

> The four apocalypses I was thinking of were Dec 21st 2012, Y2K and Harold Camping's 1994 and 2011 predictions. Of course, when I was trying to find Harold Camping's name I discovered that we've all survived far more than [just 4 apocalypses.](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_dates_predicted_for_apocalyptic_events)


End file.
